It’s not as if my butt needs to be flashed for easy access to my knee-Shah Rukh Khan

http://cdn.epaper.dnaindia.com/EpaperImages//Mumbai//14102013//14102013-md-ente-1-30553-1-small.jpg

Shah Rukh Khan (DNA; October 14, 2013)

 

Libra : “ It’s the scales that symbolise Libras. The scales study every possible angle in hopes of achieving the right balance and harmony. The scales are the great diplomats of the Zodiac.
Western Astrology”

“There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between Science and Superstition.”
Rod Serling

 

Just a few days back my friends at the DNA paper called upon me to write a monthly column for their newspaper. A Common perception about actors is that they are incompetent at everything other than acting (and some are supposedly incompetent at that too). We aren’t exactly meant to have other interests (well, except of the controversial kind) but as it happens, I do. I like to write.

Of late I have spent time on twitter like we all do and on the internet in general. The combined pressure of 140 alphabet limit and reading new words like ‘Twerking’ (described aptly by someone on the net as ‘masquerading an ass seizure as dancing’), has made me believe that I could contribute to the all round well being of the society with my writings also. What actually convinced me was, that if Hashtags # (a sign we earlier used for cuss words), can convey emotions, then my words on paper can also seem like pearls of wisdom and its about time my smart, genius side became public. So I decided to grab the axe and hack my foot
myself by entering into 12 such potentially earth shattering observations of the world around me.

I have thus come up with the “brilliant” and “original” idea of writing about the 12 Sun Signs. But wait…This isn’t your usual weekly or daily astro prediction column. That is best left to Mr. Bejan Daruwala, Marjorie Orr or Linda Goodman. I just think it’s a good place to start. 12 Columns, 12 Sun Signs, 12 traits I can write about. So I will pick the traits of these 12 Sun Signs and choose one that stands out the most then I’ll write around it. I’ll write my personal experience, my point of view or just something I see happening around me. Confused. Ok, read on.

This month we begin with Libra.

Librans are known for balance and harmony. The word balance tends to convey stillness, but oddly I look at balance as something that we need in life to keep things moving. It’s something that we all have to do…everyone from a tightrope walker to an accountant requires balance. An accountant has to balance debit with credit, while a star has to balance a public life with a private life. Most people have to balance lies and truth, or right and wrong. In my years of experience, one of the most intriguing balances I have had to find is that between Science and Superstition.

In India we are intrinsically tied to Superstition. It’s a natural nuance of our lives. I am a science student (over 90 percent in Electronics if I may add). This does not mean that I can open up a piece of electronic equipment and put it back together again. On that front I am like everybody else in the world: left holding one little ‘gizmoic’ part of the equipment, scratching my head, wondering, “where was this supposed to fit?” but more about this in another column.

Being of a scientific bent of mind, I always take the scientific course of action. If a part of my body is disintegrating or broke, I am more than willing to change it at the hands of an expert, namely a Surgeon. I have had eight such removals and implants done over the course of 20 years. Thankfully, so far, no surgeon has come to me post operation and quizzed, “Eh, SRK I have this little piece of green spleen left-over from last night’s procedure, can you tell me if it belongs to you or then it could be bed number 42’s.”

So I am a believer of science and its many benefits. Having said that, I would still not go for a bungee jump or do a skydive on

Friday the 13th. Hashtag  # Just Saying.
Some years ago I was faced with the balancing act of weighing my scientific bent against superstition. One evening I got to know my spine had a prolapsed disc and I had to go under the knife. It’s a big surgery. It’s considered equivalent to a brain surgery (from which I might just have benefitted more!) because it involves the spinal cord.

As it happens, it also proved to be one of the grandest acts of equanimity I ended up engaging in. Everybody began to foretell doom. They listed all that could go wrong. They said I could be paralysed or rendered voiceless. Thoughts raced in my own head as well. The doctors advised surgery as soon as possible.

I was as scared as anyone might be at the thought of their spine being tampered with so I gave a year to those who said they could cure my prolapse through the prolapse of medical science.

Let me make it clear that I am not trying to undermine people’s beliefs or superstitions. Different things work for different people. If you believe in something then it works for you. A recent study has proved that people who believe in superstition get the job done better than those who don’t, so who are we to question the world of the unknown and its unkown-ness.

To me it was just intriguing that there was such a wonderful variety of cures and treatments on offer for a serious injury like mine.
My family and friends all suggested different treatments ranging from acupuncture to oil made from the sting of a scorpion. I am proud to tell you that because of the deep desire to keep the ‘BALANCE’ (in caps because that’s the topic) of things unperturbed I tried most of them.

What follows is an account of some of my escapades and misadventures up to the final day of surgery. These are excerpts from my yet unpublished book and as you will read, you will realise there is no stretching or  exaggeration of factual happenings. The names of the protagonists have been changed to maintain their  privacy and mainly to prevent them from suing or physically assaulting me in the near future.

……The doctor that I went to for, what I will call ‘pin therapy’ is a wonderful doctor. He’s among the leading doctors for this therapy in the world. He also spoke three words of Hindi taught to him by other Indian clients (obviously he didn’t know the
meaning of those words, otherwise he would never use them, unless abusing your mom and sister was a part of his therapy).

The thought of him sticking  needles in my neck was scary. But I need not have worried. He didn’t want to put needles in my neck, instead he wanted to stick them in my private parts to fix my neck!

As you can imagine it was an extremely hurtful prospect. I was shaken to the core of my being (not to mention, below it).
He was from the Far East and we didn’t understand each other well. He kept repeating, “Take off your clothes, take off your clothes”. So, I took off my shirt, but it didn’t seem to suffice. He continued his chant regardless: ‘take off your clothes.”

Soon I was lying naked on his table and he had these big, big pins in his hands. The rest is too graphic to describe. It was the most humiliating and painful experience of my life.

Ordeal over, I came back marred by blue welts. The only thing that had changed was that now the pain was between my legs and not in my neck. I can tell you it distracted me enough to make me forget my original complaint. Though once I recovered from the onslaught of the pin-pricks, my neck pain resurfaced with a vengeance.

Now and then I think of the good doctor and my upbringing tugs at my conscience. I never thanked him. Maybe I should have sent him a note…in Hindi…just the three words that he had been taught!

……The ‘Energy Experts’ meanwhile, had decided that the reason for my cervical disc prolapse was the direction in which I slept.
So the position of my bed had to be changed. Change is good. Novelty is invigorating; it’s the spice of life. I like change. There were a few problems that came up though. My plasma TV was affixed to the wall keeping in mind the original position of my bed.

Taking out those brackets from the wall would have meant re-building it. So the TV stayed where it was and the only way to can watch it was to somehow stand on my head. My bedside lamp shed its light on my bathroom slippers instead of the book that I read in bed. The bathroom door ended up where the TV should have been. Though I must admit, the six episodes of the slightly
swaying bathroom door, seemed more interesting than some of the stuff we are subjected to on the idiot box.

The headrest hung inexplicably in mid air without a bed to support it. If I could levitate 10 inches off the ground I might have been able to rest my head on it.

My AC remote did nothing remotely anymore. It needed to be directed towards the fridge to get the AC on. I guess the rays would bounce off the shiny surface and find their way to the infra red sensor on the AC. Strangely the rays did not follow the same reverse path and to switch the damn thing off, I’d need to swing to the bottom of the bed and point in random directions till I’d hear the AC stop breathing.

…I made a frantic call to my surgeon in England. I told him I was coming over to his hospital in the next few days. He was very concerned. He asked, “Are you in pain’’. ‘No’, I replied, “I am in my bath tub trying to sleep, apparently this area has the best energies.” Hashtag # Help!

…My friends requested me one last time to see their Panditji before I left for England. They felt his prayers would help me. I agreed because I believe in good wishes and good Karma. The Panditji looked educated and very modern. He asked me about the procedure of the Cervical surgery. I explained it to him in detail. He closed his eyes and said some mantra. Then he looked at me with warm and peaceful eyes, and said, “Are you sure they have to use a Titanium disc?” I said, “ Yeah, it’s the latest invention and really cool.” He sighed, “Look it is your Karma that you have to undergo this surgery. You cannot escape it. But there is only one thing, Titanium is not your element, can you ask the doctor to use Moonstone instead.”

…The surgery was less painful. It took about an hour and a half. I was informed everything was excellent. As they say in our films… “The  operation is successful.”

What was humiliating was the hospital dress code. I believe a patient in a gown means that he or she is very ill and quite helpless. They need a lot of care and medical attention. It is a sort of uniform that tells you the person wearing it, is deserving of your sympathy and concern. No one expects a Stella McCartney, but at least…at least it should not make you dissolve into a merciless giggle. Picture a hobbling and helpless patient crossing you, walking slowly away from you. You’re following him with your eyes, visibly moved, at this point your gaze misses his helpless expression entirely and lands unceremoniously on his butt. What purpose does this revealing and utterly humiliating outfit serve? I ask ye all fine people of the medical profession. Even when I had gone for my knee and ankle surgery in Austria I was forced to wear this silly outfit. I could very well have been in shorts or Bermudas and got my knee operated on. It’s not as if my butt needs to be flashed for easy access to my knee. I think this aspect of clothing needs to be relooked at by the Medical Faculty around the world. It requires immediate, scientific  attention.

As I said, the complete collapse of everyone else’s attempts to cure me through their well meant suggestions, eventually lead me to my spinal surgery. This of course did not deter them from claiming credit for its  success when I got home. The horseshoe nailed outside my room in my absence had apparently cast its magic spell on the surgeon.

The ‘Energy Expert’ was  convinced that his switching my furniture around had filled the gap in my spine and my friends swore by their Panditji’s imaginary Moonstone too. Maybe it was the Energy Balancing, maybe it was the Surgery, or it could have been the shoeless horse; who knows?

Perhaps Faith and Science are deeply interconnected. Maybe we just don’t see the balance between them yet. Everything science proves today, it disproves tomorrow and faith in an idea often brings it to its  empirical fruition. Superstition is the belief in a supernatural causality, we cannot completely abandon it unless we fully understand the complexity and vastness of nature. I think it is safe to say that there are uncountable things in this world that will always remain beyond our understanding. Each of us chooses our own beliefs and lives by them and all of us are limited by our own condition. The trick is to respect each and every form of well meaning course of  action, belief, superstition and still look up to man’s quest for knowledge (the yearning for scientific discovery), to back it up. That’s what I did.

I chose Titanium over the eeewwMoonstone and it worked for me….TOUCHWOOD!!!

LINK

Post Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

keflex 500mg cephalexin medication tadalafil megalis 20 eprex injection arimidexbuy on line vistaril for anxiety during pregnancy flovent hfa 220 mcg inhaler doxitab tablets viagra hk lamictal rash cheap deltasone diane lane josh brolin baclofen side effects lioresal aggrenox medication and plavix amlodipine besylate side effects in men malegra dxt online cipro antibiotic no perscription canada atacand candesartan cilexetil tablets side effects of antabuse disulfiram pharmacy escrow hcg filme onlain norfloxacin dosage in dogs can you get high off celebrex 200 mg ez online pharmacy buy viagra usa cipla fieldcall lialda savings card for 2014 buy dilantin for dogs cozaar medicine for blood pressure ciprodex otic drops blood pressure pills no rx hydroxyzine hcl 25 mg tablet reviews anxiety attacks while pregnant gnc substitute for viagra noroxin dosages vigora spray how to use in hindi adderall xr weight loss cialis strips provera to start period pill cheaper version clarisonic brush buy cialis online with fast shipping buy treatment for chlamydia zofran medication dosage chloroquine dosage for children liquid bevispas 135mg caffeine magnesium deficiency symptoms marijuana morphine withdrawal symptoms dose canadian pharmacy ed meds order pills for chlamydia nasonex side effects medication nasonex nasal spray potassium foods foods high in potassium cialis for daily use viagra beograd ropinirole medication toradol dosage and administration depo provera for sale online diazepam 5mg tablets forzest reviews milanuncios coches de segunda mano viagar cheap no perscription zetia side effects ezetimibe aciphex generic name sertraline mexico sito sicuro comprare cialis claravis accutane drug buy synthroid without prescription mexican pharmacies in tojuana allopurinol dosage drug inexpensive alli sifrol 0 125 company doxycycline hyclate uses treat permethrin insecticide toxicity arthrotec 75 mg price thyroxine online no prescription sinequanone clothing fashion website pursues viagra with a gift card viagra online mexico walgreens photo coupon code august 2015 tylenol side effects liver kamatra gel manicure albendazole dosing for pinworms frumil wiki answers cialas reduced price fluconazole for yeast infections accutane for acne donormyl blue 50mg provigil coupon 2014 paroxetine hcl 40mg tabs danazol medication treatment prodotto 87 buy viagra with master card tylenol 4 codeine vs hydrocodone alli diet on amozon clonazepam order online cytotec mexico kamagra 100 without prescription trazodone for sale bas prix it s me obat zovirax parafortan tabs for bass leukeran for dogs cheapest pharmacy duphalac lactulose solution elimite 5 cream 60gm clobex lotion generic pharmacy online secure rizatriptan benzoate 10 mg vitamix coupon code 2012 renagel 800 mg price buy erythromycin 250mg tablets rapidtabs viagra commercial actress dapoxetine price extra generic super cialis ciprodex ear drops for dogs where to buy indocin sotalol side effects dogs tablet product buy viagra usa where to buy asthma inhalers online evista side effects hair loss voltaren gel side effects amermycin 100mg clomid voltaren retard prezzo combivent inhalers without an rx buy isotretinoin online kuwait tramadol side effects medications blood pressure kentucky wesleyan college farmacia online uk xenical orlistat 120mg saroten 25mg viagra tramadol controlled substance schedule diltiazem hydrochloride extended release capsules sumycin syrup norman can buy betnovate cream us online no prescription pharmacy pyridium boots no perscription azithromocin tablets newhealthyman complaints thyroxine for dogs loss of appetite tretinoin cream 0 1 amoxicillin 500mg capsules for dogs caffeine withdrawal symptoms caffeine addiction verapamil 240 mg sr capsules viagra verkauf ohne rezept paxil for anxiety reviews hydroxyzine pamoate for dogs nizagara gold 120 singulair medication side effects looking for brand viagra seroflo inhaler buy isoptin without prescription clenbuterol side effects dosage omeprazole 20 mg capsule drmyl medoflucon fluconazole cvs pharmacy prices ezetimibe simvastatin buy fertility drugs online purchases buy azithromycin no prescription needed for motilium sofilex wikitravel flazol 500mg amoxicillin seroquel dosage for anxiety finasteride medication information tizanidine 4mg side effects buy fucidin canada drug prices at algodones mexico para q sirve oq medicamento es figral confidex pills evista side effects symptoms where to get viagra online irbesartan generic for avapro rhinathiol syrup 2 meloxicam 15 mg street value retin a cream buy online zineryt cenarios advantage multi for dogs coupon viagra super active plus uberweisung vrdrug medicine viagra vipps sites erfahrungen mit viagra sildegra price of silver cozaar side effects weight gain coupon code dermizol gel electrophoresis viagra 1 800 gupisone 20 dose description of jesus cordarone classification indinavir crystals for protection ciprobay xr 500mgciprodex citalopram buy no prescription viagara for men cheap finasteride india paracetamol toxicity journal duphaston 10mg comprar viagra en estados unidos tamoxifen citrate side effects in men fasigyn fortesta acyclovir over the counter il viagra fa male per i reni wo gibt es viagra ohne rezept oracea 40 mg coupons kamagara oral jelly genuine online amoxicillin drops no script gd sildenafil when to start taking clomid buy clomid online uk chemist sales cialis lumigan 0.03 drops clomid clomiphene citrate buy need viagra fast clopidogrel 75mg buy citalaprom online no prescription maxolon medication buy toradol injection online zyvox lawsuits eulexin and pcos diet relafen nabumetone medication information us viagra for sale viagra tablet can use in cooldrinks bulk cialis from canada enalapril side effects in cats bactroban nasal ointment side effects propecia buy australia medameds viagra side bisoprolol hydrochlorothiazide side effects carafate suspension sucralfate rapharmacy reviews of fifty uk online pharmacy no prescription 100mg viagra dosage recommendations viagra best price online is ordering xanax on ipharmacy legit buy obagi tretinoin cream in uk crestor side effects rhabdomyolysis kidney damage cialis rezeptfrei auf rechnung casodex treatment for prostate cancer saroten tablet for kids radio ad for viagra fosamax osteoporosis teaching milanuncios empleo tarragona donde comprarpriligy en usa cefabiot 500mg to g elomet cream ointment pravachol medication side effects buy prescription drugs without doctor celecoxib capsules 100mg prilosec side effects omeprazole side effects analgin tablet 500mg doxycycline 100mg capsules dose for dogs order amoxicillin from mexico adalat side effects nifedipine keftab antibiotic resistance tylenol dosage for infants based on weight topiramate 100mg and weight loss aciclovir for sale raymeds pharmacy schools macrobid side effects antibiotic flomaxtra xl 400 homelite clomid fertility drug sale duloxetine hcl dr 20 mg cap elomet cream for baby bactrim dosage for urinary tract infection fast delivery viagra products in german pharmacy vigrande nedir bu what is progynova side effects misoprostol pharmacy rumafen gel nail mupirocin ointment usp 2 used to treat athletes foot cialis 5mg from canadian pharmacy euroclinix uk national lottery cialis 40mg professional for sale buy anafranil online lamictal bipolar reviews amantadine hcl cream flagyl for dogs buy mentat himalaya prospect birth control without an rx xanax dosage information for mri scan antibiotics for pneumonia and sinus infection parcopa discontinued avon buy inderal online colchicine products for sale can i take avelox for uti valium overdose suicide doxycap capsule what is iraplax cialis 500 onlain tamashebi nadirobaze salzarex thyroxine t4 generico do viagra da sandoz cyrux medicine cabinets roaccutane greece domperidone 10mg tablets meclizine 25 mg tablet directions order setraline without prescription mircette birth control viagra side effects drugs richard keilwerth online pharmarcy norvasc side effects hair loss amazon viagra tablets magnesium rich foods mayo clinic renova cream buy online uk buy the abortion pill doxycycline 100mg capsules side effects cockapoo information about the breed reputable online pharmacy cialis tofranil user reviewstopamax vytorin 1020 price doxycycline 100mg canada nizagara order online where to buy generic viagra in edmonton kamagra price thailand prednisone 20 mg buy nizoral shampoo decadron dosage for croup zithromax z pack side effects dizziness trichomonas ordered online rhinathiol promethazine syrup for infants lasix for dogs without prescription robaxin abuse tamsulosin side effects teeth viagra ohne rezept bestellen ibuprofen vs acetaminophen for toothache ritalin generic hydrocodone cheep acnelyse retinol side sofilex capsuleshow ed hardy online site generic viagra from us pharmacy skelaxin abuse medication vrdrug forum energy arthrotec 50/0.2 cleocin t lotion is generic cialis safe flonase over the counter walmart cleocin cream for yeast infection buy generic clomid sertraline zoloft reviewssibutramine prometrium side effects vaginally eltroxin 0 1mg folic acid orderpharma reviews on fifty generic viagra without a prescription sky pharmacy reviews sibutramine for sale online usa prandin 0.5 mg phenergan non prescription buy albuterol online canadian pharmacy en espanol rxdiler store coupons dopareel 10 mg adderall buy 25mg viagra online clonazepam without script zantac 150 dosage directions potassium chloride side effects 10 meq furadonin wikipedia free eldepryl medication identification rhinocort nasal spray price comprar cialis en washington motrin 800 ibuprofen cost online overnight pharmacy prednisone 20mg side effects dogs how effective is ceftin for sinus infection lipitor and grapefruit juice medications erlamycetin plus size lamictal for depression stress cardinal birds generic soft cialis estrofem for transitioning hairstyles free cialis offer generic voltaren morphine band cure for pain viagra for female viagra plus without prescription duramycin for gonorrhea best viagra pill viagra overnight order by phone nootropil 800 information directory buspar dosage range clindamycin dosage vpxl results viagra otc canada floxin ear drops side effects condyline podophyllotoxin viagra generic fast shipping medomycin antibiotics for ear escitalopram side effects treatment omnicef for utis avapro 150 mg irbesartan cheapest albendazole online maxalt 10 mg mlt sotalol side effects taking dapoxetine and sildenafil dosage of zovirax for cold sores sildenafil or viagara prescription medicine online order abilify without a prescription estrotab 2mg dilaudid methotrexate walmart bactroban cream mupirocin calcium cream 2 diclofenac potassium 50mg vs diclofenac sodium 50mg buy viagra next day delievery dottori commercialisti tadalfil 20mg microcidal meaning of love zantac 150 mg bonadoxina medicamento inyectable levitra coupon 3 free pills nifedipine topical side effects medication viamedic coupon code prescription lasixs medicine manufacturer taking clomid after a miscarriage clopidogrel side effects breathing problems zolpidem 10mg side effects what is prandin 2mg forpravachol lisinopril hctz side effects medication advantage multi for dogs commercial imovane 7 5mg zopiclone withdrawal carprofen for humans lortab withdrawal symptoms buy zoloft onlne no pre colchicine side effects liver viagra hungary amiloride hcl hydrochlorothiazide canadian drug fail mall 60 mgs dapoxtine with levitra benadryl for dogs bee stings generic medshop raloxifene drug interactions precio de omifin pastillas phentermine 37.5 mg 90 kamagra india wholesale trental classification over the counter viagra walgreens zyvox 600 mg coupon buy levothyroxine no rx in usa phexin bd tablets for kids peritol tablets side effects dilantin toxicity side effects prazosin 1mg cap paxil no prescription needed rabeprazole 20 mg ingredients acquistare cialis in contanti over the counter lexpro olanzapine 5mg pricing nimesulide side effects nsaids seroquel and weight gain drug best ed pill over the counter novolog sliding scale insulin cialis english reasonably priced cialis lidocaine ointment usp 5 use for buy navidoxine uk sildenafil produced in lebanon erexin maximum male strength by age lamisil generic tablets azitromicina on line insulin pump therapy raymeds pharmacyclics can buy colchicine 0 5 at store cialis femenino cialis prescription online mobicox 7 5mg percocet buy propecia online in singapore clomid and twins next stage motilium drug sorenson and sorenson viagra super force 100mg 100mg best rated generic viagra site anxiety definition apa trileptal oxcarbazepine bipolar fluoxetine hcl 10 mg capsule apertium wikimapia cheap generic airmail adalat cc 30mg azithromycin over the counter usa buspar dosage for anxiety can i get viagra in morocco online generic viagra mastercard alfredo volpi biografia best drugstore diet pills cialis italia gratis periactin syrup viagra for sell online antibiotics for pneumonia treatment over the counter viagra substitute lasix mexico septra safe during conception prednisolone eye drops side effects medication diflucan italiano vermox plus mexico can you snort meloxicam norvasc 5 mg viagra available bangalore eshop pharmacy technician letter login lotrisone cream treatment pictures jasmine rice in rice cooker vigrx reviews amazon lasix shortage how much is a pint of promethazine viagra pills for sale cialis canadian pahrmcy ceftin antibiotic for uti buy retin a in canada