1.5/5 – Jab Tak Hai Jaan: failure of a farewell

Thoughts before the film: I hope the two girls die, Yash Chopra brings in Kajol/Rani Mukherjee and she lives happily ever after with Shah Rukh Khan.
For those who have grown up watching and enjoying Yash Chopra’s romantic films, namely Chandni, Silsila, Dil Toh Pagal Hai and Veer-Zaara, to name but a few, Jab Tak Hai Jaan became one of the year’s most highly anticipated films. With Shah Rukh Khan, Katrina Kaif and Anushka Sharma in the lead roles, the late director’s final venture was nothing less than star-studded either. Hence, expectations were kept high, leading to tickets bought in advance for full-house cinemas throughout the busy week of Diwali.

“You can’t speak Hindi and you want to learn Punjabi? Ha!”
The story:
Jab Tak Hai Jaan is about a 21-year old documentary filmmaker, Akira (Anushka Sharma) who, after finding and reading the diary of the perpetually grumpy Major Samar Anand (Shah Rukh Khan), a bomb disposal expert, decides to make a film about him. The diary presents Akira with a flashback of Samar’s life in London where he met, fell in love with and left Meera (Katrina Kaif) ten years ago to go to Ladakh. Meera is an engaged, churchgoing Punjabi girl, who falls in love with Samar while learning Punjabi from him. When Samar meets with a fatal accident, Meera goes to Jesus and asks him to save her beloved. In return, she would never meet him again. Circumstances lead Samar back to London, where he meets with another accident and gets retrograde amnesia, forgetting everything that had happened since his first accident. The doctor believes it’s best to bring everyone Samar knew 10 years ago to help him retrieve his memory. Meera makes Samar believe they have been married for ten years but stops herself from getting close to her because of her promise to Jesus. Not seeing results from her love, Meera asks Akira to go in front of him to remind him of his recent experiences. Nothing seems to work until Samar sees a bomb in a train which he suddenly knows how to defuse. Samar subsequently remembers everything, gathers he has been lied to by Meera, and returns to his life in Ladakh. Akira’s documentary is successful and Meera follows Samar back to Ladakh, realising Jesus kept Samar alive to be with her.
Thoughts during the film: I hope Katrina Kaif dies.

“You’re 21. I’m 31. This isn’t creepy at all!”
The goods:
Shah Rukh Khan. There’s a broody SRK in an army uniform on a motorbike AND a romantic, charming SRK playing the guitar in the same film.
Anushka Sharma. Despite having done the same role in every film she’s been in, she’s the only one who played her role well without being annoying, all while looking great.
The music. A.R. Rahman. Need I say more?
The bads:
Shah Rukh Khan. Before watching it, you’d think he’d do the same thing he’s done innumerable times before, but he’s really just weird and awkward. Playing a character 20 years younger than his actual age with girls who are old enough to be his daughters doesn’t help either. In addition, when he gets retrograde amnesia, he turns into Rizwan Khan. Yes, SRK as an autistic is the same as SRK as an amnesiac.
Katrina Kaif. She can’t act. She can’t dance. She can’t smile. She can’t speak Hindi. And she’s too old to play a 21-year old. In short, she’s useless. I will hereby stop putting her in my list of ‘goods’ just for being pretty.
The script. Quite possibly, one of the worst scripts any Yash Chopra film has had, with the exception of Parampara. If you don’t remember it, you’re probably better off.
3 hours. A bad film that’s three hours long is a pain in the backside (quite literally).
The comparison. Being a Yash Chopra film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan will inevitably be compared to his previous films. It doesn’t even come close to the standard set by classics such as Darr, Dil Toh Pagal Hai and Veer-Zaara. It’s not touching, it’s not that romantic and it’s way too long.

47 and STILL playing a 28-year old!
The rating:
Keeping in mind everything else the late director has made, I give Jab Tak Hai Jaan a mere 1.5 out of 5, with the music by A.R. Rahman being its saving grace. Being an ardent fan of Yash Chopra-SRK films, I went in expecting (and hoping for) a corny, romantic film. I didn’t get one.
The last word:
Jesus is the star of the show. The power he seems to have on Katrina Kaif’s character and her relationship with SRK is unbeatable. It’s kind of like he’s looking down at them and laughing at their stupidity.
Thoughts after the film: I wish they all died.

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19 Comments

  1. Tiger
    Tiger
    November 19, 2012 at 3:13 PM

    Lol. Wall D(dead and dumb) I see you dying of heart attack. While JTHJ rocks you suck bigtime as a malificient detractor. While you are dying in negativity JTHJ is on its way to an immense success!

    1. Rosh
      Rosh
      November 19, 2012 at 3:54 PM

      Tiger Tiger Tiger .. i love you man .. immense success it is :D

  2. Alfa.one
    Alfa.one
    November 19, 2012 at 5:07 PM

    @Tiger – JTHJ is rocking yaar, enjoy the success and leave this wall D. He is always like that. He will find out some article from his like from timbaktu or jhumritalaiyya and post here.

  3. joker8546
    joker8546
    November 19, 2012 at 10:03 PM

    i don knw how u guys enjoyed dat movie,,,
    Faltu story,,,Sos is 10 times better dan dis Crap,,

    @wall-d….RIzwaan khan LOL,,,,

    i will rate Ra.one and even RGV ki aag higher dan dis…
    No SRK movie frm nw on
    Apna Akki No 1

    1. jealous hater of srk
      jealous hater of srk
      November 19, 2012 at 11:06 PM

      dude cn u plz stop showing joker’s 2nd week collection as ng name….lol and ya i really lovd joker i even wanted to give it ‘udatha phirta omblet’ bt nt finding it anywher cn u plz give d adress????

      1. sanjeev-dabangg2-beats-ETT
        sanjeev-dabangg2-beats-ETT
        November 20, 2012 at 2:02 PM

        JOKER was a better movie than JTHJ

        1. joker8546
          joker8546
          November 21, 2012 at 11:23 AM

          ya dis one,,,

  4. joker8546
    joker8546
    November 19, 2012 at 10:08 PM

    jis movie ko interval tak bhi na jhel pao,,,,use movie nahi TOrchar bolte hai…

    aisa lag raha hai 3rd degree de diya hai kisi ne…..

    who the u the R is the
    mai hu chauki ka akshay kumar is the..
    GOPi roks….
    ya dis one…

  5. jealous hater of srk
    jealous hater of srk
    November 19, 2012 at 11:31 PM

    @wall d cn u plz tell how much pr of ajay is paying plz ask them hw much money would they pay me for putting negative comment’s on jhtj..
    as i dnt hav posting right
    ”Kuch mera bhi bhala kardo bhai’

    1. sanjeev-dabangg2-beats-ETT
      sanjeev-dabangg2-beats-ETT
      November 20, 2012 at 2:03 PM

      you can’t play double agent. you are already paid by srk.

      1. jealous hater of srk
        jealous hater of srk
        November 20, 2012 at 2:50 PM

        and u r bieng paid by salman as bieng human charity fund right..

  6. Alfa.one
    Alfa.one
    November 20, 2012 at 11:03 AM

    BTW when is joker releasing ? suna tha jaldi he release hone waali hai ???

    1. sanjeev-dabangg2-beats-ETT
      sanjeev-dabangg2-beats-ETT
      November 20, 2012 at 2:04 PM

      hope srk beats Akki’s RR.

      1. joker8546
        joker8546
        November 20, 2012 at 2:29 PM

        ghanta

  7. Alfa.one
    Alfa.one
    November 20, 2012 at 11:04 AM

    OOOps my bad………. ya now I remember Damadam ke saath release ho rahi hai competition me !!!!!!

  8. Aditya007
    Aditya007
    November 20, 2012 at 2:40 PM

    When Billu & Ra.one is releasing????

  9. RJ
    RJ
    November 23, 2012 at 12:14 PM

    Isn’t there another Joker ID with another number? I thought I saw it…

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