Nikal Gayi Hain Jaan..!!!

NOTE: These are My Comments Written from My FAcebook Status Update…. That’s why the Review will seem Distorted but You guys should get the Flow.

‘Jab Tak Hain Jaan’ is Shit in the Name of Cinema…. Utter Crap!

Disgusted, Dissapointed and Angry…

I can’t Compose Myself to Review this Movie… I Just Cannot… I just don’t know what to say Exactly….

At this Moment, I am Just Upset…. Upset, Angry and Distraught.

The Only Positives from the Movie are Some Moments in the 2nd Half, Anushka Sharma and the Amazing amazing Camerawork.

I want this One to Flop… FLOP so fucking badly so damn bad….

I dont want no more RA.ONe, MNIK type of Successes… I want a Clear Cut Failure

I Still maintain RA.One is Not a BAD Movie at all…. It’s Noit a BAd Movie.

People Overexpected from RA.One and it failed in that respect..
Still it was a Watchable Movie and had Many Positives going for it.

It was 2.5/5 for me and the failure of RA.One was Not much Heart Breaking.

JTHJ Deserves to Fail

I have No Pre Judges Intentions to Dislike a Movie and that too SRK’s for that matter..

JTHJ had ZERO Passion, ZERO Romance… SOme CHarming Moments can’t save a 3hour Fuckshit.

THe Dialogues…..OMG, I still need to get over those clinched dialogues.

JTHJ had No Passion at all…. Nothing

The SRK-Anushka Moments saved the Movie for me to a lot extent..
And, of coz the SOngs and Cinematography.

Katrina has been the WRONGEST choice possible for this character….

SHe just culdent emote and handle the responsibilities of the character she had to potray
Katrina was Bad…. I have hardly disliked her in movies but she just culdnt handle the Pressure of a Movie like JTHJ…

She is made for MBKD, APKGK stuff…. JTHJ is not for an actress of her calibre

SRK has the Army Samar was Good…. As the London was he was Average.

The two Major Portions i Liked in the Movie were
– SRK and Katrina meeting for the 1st time – Ishq Shava SOng

– ANushka’s making the Documentary Movie in SRK

Except these two Sequences, the rest movie is Utter Crap.

Not even a SINGLE Katrina-Anushka Interaction Sequence was Good

Anushka Saved the Movie with her Quirky act and Dialogues…

That’s how u make ROmace work….. Not like SRk-Katrina were doing.

Sadly, SRK-Anushka track was kept in the cold and kept as a side track…. That amazing track was again sidetracked int eh 2nd part of the 2nd half.

the memory loss angle does not work…. It’s just a CHance to bring katrina back in the movie.

SRK shud have died at the end when they found the 2nd Bomb…. that wud have left their love which dint meet it’s eventual End like GHajini.
But heck no!

The Good Outcome of JTHJ is that SRK-Salman are Friends again

RATING: 1.5/5

38 Comments

  1. utkal
    utkal
    November 14, 2012 at 8:28 PM

    ‘Jab Tak Hai Jaan': 10 important life lessons from the film

    You probably know by now that ‘Jab Tak Hai Jaan’ is a heavy duty romance triangle between Shah Rukh Khan, Katrina Kaif and Anushka Sharma played out over a period of 10 years. If unrequited love isn’t your thing, this is a film to skip. But JTHJ is also a great example of how cinema can teach you not to be stupid in life or take it completely for granted.
    There are spoilers ahead so if you haven’t seen the film, please feel free to come back later. This was director Yash Chopra’s swansong and his hand is evident in every scene of the film, some beckoning you to postcard-perfect, snow-covered London and some to the rugged terrains of Ladakh.
    We pick the 10 most ludicrous aspects of the film that make ‘Jab Tak Hai Jaan’ boringly mortal and teach us valuable life lessons in what not to do if you ever find yourself in any of the following situations.
    VideoPhotoGallery
    Jab Tak Hai Jaan is also a great example of how cinema can teach you not to be stupid in life.
    Lightening does strike the same point twice:
    Irony is a b****. To be struck by a car while on a motorcycle is one thing. But to be struck by a car twice is plain foolishness. Major Samar Anand is a poster boy for road safety. First, he gets hit by a car while showing off his biking skills to his new girlfriend. The second time he gets hit again by a car while waiting for Discovery Channel reporter Akira (Anushka Sharma). Look while you are crossing the road.

    http://ibnlive.in.com/news/jab-tak-hai-jaan-10-important-life-lessons-from-the-film/305521-8-66.html

  2. utkal
    utkal
    November 14, 2012 at 8:38 PM

    Absolutely agree with you Serenzy. That’s exactly how i felt. Ra Onew as bad film ., but still quite watchable. and they were trying something different. This was was unwatchably boring.

    No body is talking of realism. I don’t even consider realism a mark of good cinema. But cerainly we expect some internal logic, some imaginative plotting, some insight into human relationships.

    What do we get?

    Promise made to Jesus!

    Getting knocked down by a car while riding a bike? Twice? Losing one’s memory and getting it back? And it’s not even a Manmohan Desai film.

    Anoushka jumping into cold waters of Ladakh and shouting Oh It’s so cold! And the camera lingering on her bum and then her cleavage! Has Yash Chopra come down to this! Oh I could go on. But I am just too disgusted to even bother.

  3. Naveed_Dabangg2
    Naveed_Dabangg2
    November 14, 2012 at 8:53 PM

    @Utkal – reading your thoughts on the film I’m seriously tempted to check this film out :P I can get free tickets for today :)

    @Srenzy – kudos to your honesty and LOL at the title haha

  4. utkal
    utkal
    November 14, 2012 at 8:55 PM

    And to the IBN list, I could add a couple more, supplied by one from our group of eleven ( since I was too mind-numbed to think):

    1. If you want to do maximum damage to your enemy, plant bombs in deserted heights of Ladakh where the population density is about 1 for 10 sq kms.
    2. If you want to leave your child and run away with your lover, don’t do it when she is 4 or 5 or 6, wait till she is twelve, the perfect age for abandonment. ( It will entail buying a little less number of birthday dresses to stuff in your wardrobe.)

  5. Roy
    Roy
    November 14, 2012 at 9:07 PM

    It is difficult for me to decide if Ra.One was worse or JTHJ. But JTHJ was really a WTF is that movie. So unlike Yash Chopra. You have it spot on

  6. ady_koolz
    ady_koolz
    November 14, 2012 at 9:11 PM

    As a SRK fan , totally agree with u …JTHJ is a bad movie and a painfully long one…With due respect to yash chopra , he failed big time here and also Aditya chopra should be kicked for writing this script…Movie may cross 100 cr but I dont want SRK to go Salman way so that they continue to make crap because public lap it up due to their star status…Only good thing in this movie is Anushka and SRK acting which is good compared to his last 2 outings….

  7. Roy
    Roy
    November 14, 2012 at 9:18 PM

    In the first accident, British Police arrive on scene before Katrina can run 20 feet to SRK. Such a prompt response. Indian Police in Hindi films should learn something from them.

  8. ady_koolz
    ady_koolz
    November 14, 2012 at 9:41 PM

    Also for those interested in IMDB rating..JTHJ has 8.3 while SOS has 4.6
    I am not saying JTHJ is a good movie but looks like it is better than atleast SOS

    JTHJ
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2176013/
    SOS
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2178508/

  9. jealous hater of srk
    jealous hater of srk
    November 14, 2012 at 9:46 PM

    lol…its nt bad as it is said here i hav seen it its gud nt extraordinary due to slow pace and length imdb its rated 8.3 from 4362 votes
    @Serenzy wt is ur review?

  10. Prashant
    Prashant
    November 15, 2012 at 1:03 AM

    IMDB UNCLE ala UTKAL UNCLE – 8.3 imdb rating from 4400 user

    1. Yakuza
      Yakuza
      November 15, 2012 at 10:29 AM

      These ratings started pouring in much before release of movie. In October itself rating was about 8.5 from hundreds of users. Even reviews written in October .. check yourself.

  11. Prashant
    Prashant
    November 15, 2012 at 1:04 AM

    IMDB UNCLE ala UTKAL UNCLE – JAB TAK HAI JAAN 8.3 imdb rating from 4400 user…

  12. srk lover
    srk lover
    November 15, 2012 at 3:11 AM

    JTHJ is a proof that one should not trust IMDB especially for bollywood movies.

    1. Yakuza
      Yakuza
      November 15, 2012 at 10:24 AM

      IMDB ratings and reviews of JTHJ are fake, see urself,reviews were pouring in as early as October nd page was created year ago so was ratings pouring in much before release of movie.

      see urself .. first review in October. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2176013/reviews

  13. srk lover
    srk lover
    November 15, 2012 at 3:12 AM

    however I’ll rate JTHJ slightly higher than Ra one.
    I would rather watch RNBDJ 4 times in theater rather than watching JTHJ one more time

  14. sanjeev-dabangg2-beats-ETT
    sanjeev-dabangg2-beats-ETT
    November 15, 2012 at 3:31 AM

    salman is back with a bang in dabangg 2

  15. sanjeev-dabangg2-beats-ETT
    sanjeev-dabangg2-beats-ETT
    November 15, 2012 at 3:40 AM

    dabanng 2 countdown
    36 days to go
    http://www.salmankingdom.com/

  16. Gorilla
    Gorilla
    November 15, 2012 at 11:01 AM

    Utkal, I too found promise made to Jesus as most cringeworthy and this is exactly what I meant when I mentioned that JTHJ is hanging on a silly logic.
    However over the movie is a love story….all love stories have logic used by lovers that is irrational and beyond reasons….this is what makes them interesting.

  17. Tango
    Tango
    November 15, 2012 at 12:05 PM

    Yakuza bhai I never believe in these IMDb ratings at all and have argued against it, time and again, but then these are treated like holy grail, and quoted (and will again be quoted!) to save some absurd, off beat film.

  18. RJ
    RJ
    November 15, 2012 at 2:26 PM

    JTHJ is as illogical and is as much a masala entertainer as any of these remakes and mass driven movies. Just that more money has been spent to make it look classier. Otherwise whats the difference?

  19. Akshay
    Akshay
    November 15, 2012 at 4:12 PM

    Saw JTHJ yesterday — Simple Advise would be “Stay Away”

    Completely incoherent script, unreal characters and extremely cliched. The movie drags forever.

    Katrina’s dialog in the movie sums up my experience very well — “What the f..”
    My Rating 1.5 on 5 (Maybe less)

  20. Akshay
    Akshay
    November 15, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    I have observed this in the past also and guess Adi Chopra’s sensibilities are very different from an average Indian (Adi has written the story and dialogs for JTHJ). Maybe it is because of his Overseas upbringing or maybe because he has been brought up in a family that is very open about things. Whatever the reason, I think he does not understand the Indian Audience well enough.

    There are some brilliant new directors who are doing a fabulous job at taking things forward. Unfortunately I think Adi is not even in the A league now.

  21. shan
    shan
    November 16, 2012 at 6:35 AM

    Agree with you on all counts Serenzy! The movie was a major letdown for me :( And I hadnt even gone in with high expectations after getting bad feedback from friends! SRK was really good and I liked him in a movie after long time – the last time I can remember liking him is Chak De India. He refrained from buffoonery and did the intense scenes really well! Kat was like a pretty piece of wood and her character was the stupidest character of the movie. Anushka’s character was a major wannabe and all that “Soldier”, “Ciao”, “Bitch”, “Sexy” lines she mouthed made me cringe! Who speaks and acts like that! This is what happens when someone who cannot connect to the current generation tries to write lines for a character from a current generation. Major disconnect. The camoes were unnecessary and Neetu Singh hammed it up! :( The songs looked bad on-screen with the exception of Heer. Ishq Shava was as unnecessary and out of place as Samar’s conecpt of freeing Meera’s voice by taking her to a hip-hop dance-off :D Overall, major disappointment man! Felt good seeing SRK back in form though. He has done too many pathetic roles lately and this one’s his comeback to familiar territory with an almost bang.

  22. Dj
    Dj
    November 16, 2012 at 2:01 PM

    In Recent Years, I have Observed SRK Play 2 Opposite Roles a lot in the Same Movie.

    Eg: Don, OSO, RNBDJ, RA.One, JTHJ.

    @ Serenzy
    Good Observation

  23. Dj
    Dj
    November 16, 2012 at 2:07 PM

    @ Serenzy.. I also noticed SRK snatch others finacees, Sample this

    Baazigar (Siddarth), DDLJ (Parmeet), DTPH (Akshay), KKHH (Salman) Chalte-Chalte (Randhawa guy) V-Z (Manoj Bajpayee), JTHJ (Roger)

    1. rockie_Dabhangg2
      rockie_Dabhangg2
      November 17, 2012 at 1:34 AM

      @Dj: Add the following,

      Darr (Sunny Paaji)
      Pardes (Apoorv Agnihotri)
      KHNH (Saif ali khan)
      KANK (Abhishek)

      1. Roy
        Roy
        November 17, 2012 at 9:02 AM

        Arrey Miya DJ – Yeh Lee jiye,

        Fiancee ki baatein karte ho? Usne to career ki shurooat mein hi doosron ke lachaar and bebas biwiyon ko buri nazar se dekha (Deewana – Rishi Kapoor/Divya Bharti).

        Unhe apni Bhooke Hawas aur Junglee Wasna ka shikaar banaya (Maya Memsaab – Deepa Mehta/Farooque Shaikh).

        Yeh Silsila saalon saal chalta raha. Bhalle hi woh Dus saal ke bachche ki Maa ho (My Name Is Khan – Absconding Husband/Kajol) yaa Shaadi Shuda Boss ki Bin Bihayi Girl Friend ho (Yes Boss – Aditya Pancholi/Juhi Chawla), Kisi ko bhi nahi Baksha.

        Bachche to Bachche, Boss re Boss!!

        Bhagwaan bachaye iss Duniya ko aisey Pahunche hue Neehayati Batameez Paapi Darindey aur Nalayak Tharki se. ;)

  24. shan
    shan
    November 17, 2012 at 7:16 AM

    Serenzy : Respect your opinion about SRK’s acting, but I liked him in JTHJ :)

    About your observation : I had mentioned this last month to a friend after seeing his two different looks in trailers – “Looks like SRK wants to play lots of characters in fewer films. He has played two roles in most of his recent films :D” :)

    LOL. Good ones Rockie and DJ. Along similar lines, there was a time in the 90s when people used to say “Jis film mein Salman ko ladki nahi milti, wo picture zaroor chalti hai.” Cases in point : Saajan, KKHH, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. The silsila stopped with Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam though :D

    1. sanjeev-dabangg2-beats-ETT
      sanjeev-dabangg2-beats-ETT
      November 17, 2012 at 11:54 AM

      shan: but in HTHS salman and madhuri were never in love…madhuri always loved srk

  25. Dj
    Dj
    November 17, 2012 at 8:06 AM

    Rockie bhau wish for Bala saheb..
    Darr (Sunny Paaji)
    Pardes (Apoorv Agnihotri)
    KHNH (Saif ali khan)
    KANK (Abhishek)

    But only Pardes qualify..
    Darr – One sided
    KHNH – Naina loves Aman and it is Aman who get Naina for Saif.
    KANK – Rani and Abhishek already married. It is just that Rani is not satishfied with Abhishek. (Abhishek yaha bhi nakara sabit hua.) Ha Ha

  26. RJ
    RJ
    November 17, 2012 at 10:03 AM

    Why does SRK always take up these chichora roles in most of his romantic leads?

    Stealing others girlfriends/wives/fiancées.. Is such a big achievement? Is that why he’s called King of Romance? Is romance = chichorapanti?

  27. Roy
    Roy
    November 17, 2012 at 10:22 AM

    A few more :D

    KHKN – (hre tried to break Depak Tijori and Suchitra)
    Anjaam – (I believe Madhuri married Depak Tijori and still SRK chased her)
    Paheli (as a ghost trying to steal Rani)

  28. Dj
    Dj
    November 17, 2012 at 11:58 AM

    @ Roy and RJ..
    Chit bhi meri pat bhi meri nahi chalegi. SRK ko gay bhi bolte ho or doosron hi biwi/GF chinne wala bhi. Gay banda Parmeet sethi jaise gabro jawan ki GF kaise cheen sakta hai. Ab decide kar lo SRK is Real Mard or Gay.
    Ha..Ha..Ha..Ha..Ha..Ha..

    1. Roy
      Roy
      November 17, 2012 at 8:46 PM

      amma DJ miya, real life aur reel life mein different orientation hai :)

  29. Akshay
    Akshay
    November 17, 2012 at 1:53 PM

    and I thought JTHJ was a bad movie. I saw SoS yesterday and the movie is PATHETIC. In front of SoS, JTHJ appears like a classic.

    The kind of movies we watch and endorse says so much about the kind of nation we are. At times I wonder, what are we coming to?

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