Hrithik Roshan: “I want my story to be the greatest ever

Salman Khan made digs at Guzaarish recently saying how even a mosquito hadn’t gone to see the film. You were naturally hurt.
(Smiles) Salman only has love for me in his heart. We’ve spoken and have fixed up a day for our workout. He’s going to watch my film. In times of stress and frustration, it’s easy to get hurt. Sometimes humans do react instinctively. You only get hurt by people you love. Anyway, it’s been sorted now.

Why would anyone want to comment on another’s film?
Salman is a free spirit. That’s what we love about him. Sometimes things said in jest can be misrepresented and they might hurt you. But then you realise that it was not said in that spirit. You’ve to understand that when the core emotion is love, you only head towards making things okay. I’ve always looked up to Salman. This episode will only make our relationship stronger.

So what’s between you and Aishwarya Rai? The chemistry between you is awesome.
Our craft, our shortcomings, our fears, our insecurities and strengths are very alike. We are in the same boat. I can understand if she is feeling uncomfortable about something even if it doesn’t make sense to the people around. We understand each other’s strengths and weaknesses. She is as passionate and focused about her work as I am. Somewhere it helps that you can have an open-ended conversation without fear. She’s always been honest with feedback about my work. That’s why I always want her to see my shot.

It’s not really been a good year for you – Kites and Guzaarish both haven’t done well.
On the contrary, I believe it’s been more my year than any of the previous years. Both these films had my best performances. I’ve gone beyond anything that I’ve done in the past. Kites has been my most subtle work. After Guzaarish I am on a high. I didn’t feel this way after Jodhaa Akbar or Koi… Mil Gaya or Krrish. God would punish me and I’d feel ashamed if I didn’t feel 100 per cent happiness.

Why aren’t you doing very many films?
In fact, I’m doing quite a few films right now. I have Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, Agneepath and Krrish 2 is starting in August. After that I have Choices. If it’s dad’s film, I want to be involved in everything.

Do you agree with the concept of euthanasia?
Ethan is a lot like me. He’s an entertainer. He’s always been in control. Even after the accident he lives like a king for 14 years. He doesn’t cry. I’d live like that because I’d want my story to be the greatest story ever in the world. What better way to do it than to have a tragic life like his and overcome it. But the moment the body starts to deteriorate, then that person who’s always in control wants to also be in control of death. That’s where Ethan comes from. It’s not please kill me because it’s too hard to bear but because I don’t want to go bit by bit and deteriorate like a vegetable. His thought is give me the power to gallop towards my end.

Those close to you say you’ve chilled out and have come into your own. True?
It’s true to a great extent. When I started off, I only had a mould in my head of the kind of hero I was supposed to be. I was trying to fit into it. But it started bothering me. The mould and I are different people.  Slowly, I cracked that shell and stepped out. I grew up. I learnt to hold my own. It started bothering me less that I might make a fool of myself or that I wasn’t always succeeding. You finally realise that we are all the same. We have the same fears, the same insecurities, the same desires and the same fantasies. I stopped being scared.

What insecurities can Hrithik Roshan have?
Yes, Hrithik Roshan the image cannot have insecurities. But I’m not Hrithik Roshan. I work for him. I’m the labourer.

You recently had a health scare. What happened?
While doing Guzaarish, I got friendly with two patients, John Julius and Ashutosh. John is the bright one while Ashutosh thought the world was a beautiful place but his job was done. One day he asked me, “Why are you looking like that? Aren’t you well?” I replied maybe it was because I’d started smoking for Guzaarish. He said we’ll make a deal. He’d start his physiotherapy and I’d stop smoking. I agreed. I met him again and he asked whether I’d quit smoking. I told him I hadn’t but I promised him that the day Guzaarish released, I’d give it up.  Later, I got busy with the dubbing and promotions and couldn’t go to see him. He’d tell his mom, “Uske kaan pakad kar lekar aao. Woh mera dost hai, woh aayega. (Catch him by the ear and get him. He’s my friend, he’ll come)” I thought I’d go on the day of the release. But
I got swamped by news about how it was doing. I called my driver the next day thinking I’d visit Ashutosh. But I got to know that he’d passed away. I was heartbroken. I decided to attend his funeral. Since I had a bad cough, I took an antibiotic and sat in the car to go to his house. I lit a cigarette and I started thinking of my promise to quit smoking but I continued to puff away.

And then?
Suddenly, I started coughing. My lips became huge. My cheeks swelled up. My throat constricted and I couldn’t breathe. I had developed an allergic reaction to the antibiotic and needed to get to a hospital. I saw the Ambani Hospital in front of me. I couldn’t speak so I shook my driver and vigorously gestured to take me there. I knew I wouldn’t make it to the hospital. I needed a pump to push some oxygen into me before that. And the chemist shop was right there in front of me. My driver got me the pump from the chemist. Then we rushed to the hospital. I was on the drip and oxygen. The doctors told me that if I’d delayed getting there even by a minute, they’d have had to slit my throat and put a tube inside me. Two more minutes and I’d have been dead.  It was a narrow escape. It was a spiritual awakening for me. It’s been about two months since I have smoked. It was the last thing that Ashutosh did for me. It’s amazing how I don’t feel the urge to smoke any more. If someone smokes in front of me, I love it. Because I know I have control over myself. It’s empowering. If someone offers me a cigarette, I take it, crush it and throw it away. Life feels so good.