Again PFC!

By: Anurag Kashyap

PFC
We have the official confirmation letter in hand..No Smoking will have it’s world premiere in Rome.. I am anxious.. it’s great to be selected, but.. how will it be recieved.. i didn’t sleep last night and i can’t sleep tonight.. i have been anxious, hypersensitive.. reacting to littlest of provocations.. we haven’t started mixing yet.. everything is coming along great but so much pressure of trying to meet the deadline of no smoking, getting started on the post of Hanuman Returns, doing pre prod on Dev.D and rajkumar’s “Aamir”.. after having got five drafts in hand trying to get a proper sixth one of my next years project on which i m way past my deadline.. my head is so muddled up.. i am confusing things, not spending enough time with my daughter, how will i manage.. all these years was sitting, waiting for things to happen, forcing them to happen, suddenly it’s all happening and together, it’s like a dam bursting, out of my control.. the water flows and so do i with it.. hoping all will fall in place.. how does one quality control.. how does one sit back and relax.. how does one breathe.. already have the early stages of ulcers.. too many cigaretttes.. too much coffee..too many studios.. only respite comes in form of PFC.. it helps me shift from one film to another..
was great to see my old relaxed self on the sets of Paanch..how did i get to this point..it’s been more than a month that i have been on the same book and on the same page.. i have started losing my Table Tennis games.. i want to shut off and leave .. but how does one do that..
last night saw a dead woman outside my house who had hung herself from the tree.. who was she.. she took my sleep away.. went away to the juhu circle at four in the morning and had coffee and sat there..watched people.. yet to make changes on my Dev.D.. who will be my chandramukhi..who will play bhuvan’s sister..where do i find them.. Abhay has to lose weight and we have to start shooting backwards.. how will we manage it.. hve to shoot for tishu..why did i say yes to acting..why can’t i throw my phones away.. why do we have to give so many interviews..however did other’s do it..
i m so anxious and restless.. need to exercise.. need someone to handle my work.. need to delegate. need to loosen up..i really need to sleep..