This excerpt has been taken from the following link in Passion For Cinema, read it you will enjoy…

http://passionforcinema.com/i-never-promised-you-a-rose-garden/#comment-28043

I Never Promised you a Rose Garden..

When PFC authors were busy blogging for movies(headed by ever dependable Manjeet Singh for Mumbai Meri Jaan)and my friends are actively pouring their opinions and comments about Jhoom Barabar Jhoom(JBJ), I landed a rare opportunity to interview Aditya Chopra-yes Adi!..Actually i had gone to YR studios just to look out for a blogging opportunity for the site but it turned out to be one way street of hogging the limelight–by none else than Adi himself..Without spending too much time –the way YRF does ,trying to build up and come to the story in a convoluted way, i straightaway got down to business by firing questions at Adi(as he is fondly called–honestly how he likes to be actually addressed, i have no idea).

So JBJ has not sent audiences into tizzy inspite of all that roller-coaster of a camerawork?
Adi: You must be keeping your eyes closed and ears open that’s why they have been poisoned by our detractors and rivals.

You mean to say people are really liking the movie?
Adi: Gone are the days of Kajrare, Kajrare. The new mantra is Crazy kiya re..Yes that’s what people are saying about JBJ.

Don’t you think you are closed to any kind of feedback at YRF?
Adi: YRF studio is such a spacious facility. You must have observed yourself how environmentally friendly it is-with french windows, swivelling doors,labyrinthine lobbies and high ceilings. There is so much space . Where is the question of being closed to feedback.

You are being labelled as nothing but a hypermarket.
Adi:In todays changed world what you expect us to be? All said and done, in heart of hearts we are all banias who have neither hours nor heart for schmaltz and stories.

Your banner was known for such wonderful movies till early nineties then why this route of escapist cinema in this century?
Adi: The whole world is escaping. We want to escape from effects of greenhouse gases,noise pollution, chikungunia,bird -flu,HIV,abusive parents. Girls want to escape from their mother-in-laws, guys want to escape from their mother-in-laws’ daughters. The Universe is not only expanding..Each and every object in it is trying to escape from each other’s gravitational pull.

Sivaji-The Boss really opened to full houses all over. JBJ has no hysteria attending to it inspite of so much hype?
Adi:Look, that movie Sivaji, has nothing to do with Bollywood.Talk about us. It may be the Boss amongst Tamil speaking public.Talk about our clout in Bollywood. We have also opened to Full Houses. The audience has been fooled to come out of their houses and watch this neo-tantric-musical mania.

But it’s not filmmaking?
Adi: Who said we are into filmmaking. Ever since I took over the reins we are into filmmarketing.I am into media hype. I am into moolah generation.
I want to be known as messaih of movie-marketing.Donald Trump of Entertainment world. Bill Gates of media messaging. Lakshmi Mittal of movie kitsch.

With all this chaos happening how are you going to accomplish this ambition?
Adi: You just don’t have farsight. I will give you an example of my marketing acumen. Even though audiences don’t relate to DDLJ anymore-a whole generation of teenyboppers has grown up after its release, still it is running in a Fool”s House. Of course for this you don’t need farsight. You need hindsight to appreciate this master marketing strategy. It is being made to run whether it wants to or not.

It is often remarked that the weakest link in your chain is writers. You don’t have stories to tell.
Adi: I have few basic mantras to run such a conglomerate. Just Tell, Tell-Just Sell… And Tales gayi teil lene. Anyway in the burgeoning and booming markets ,to have boxoffice baarish you only need translators, bouncing boards, scapegoats and maybe script doctors.

Excuse me Adi, for script doctors to function you have to have scripts atleast?
Adi:What’s the logic?

That’s what I am trying to say-There is no logic in YR movies of late?
Adi:Nonsense.

That’s what I wanted to tell you on behalf of masses, classes, joggers, bloggers-it’s sheer nonsense being dished out of YRF’s kitchen in recent years.
Adi:It’s not easy to run a conglomerate with so many kitchen fires burning…

In a book by Anupama Chopra on making of DDLJ, she has mentioned that in your youth and childhood you watched all the movies of all the masters of Hindi Cinema(and till date you have not watched a single Satyjit Ray film) just to find out what made them tick. What made their cinema click?
Adi:As I told you, now I have much bigger responsibility than my growing up days. That time i was a movie maniac, now I am a business baron. If Hindustan Lever can make even stains sell-with their ‘Daag achhe Hain’ campaign, why can’t I sell Doom Baar Baar Doom as Jhoom Barabar Jhoom.

What are your future plans?
Adi: To have synergy.To have integrated and diversified operations. See we have film production, distribution, music and now animation in our business module.And each division, i mean each kitchen is firing the unplanned and undirected growth and success. Now I want to have YRF’s presence everywhere. Its proverbial hand of God like Diego Maradonna’s goal -whether visible or hidden- has to be in every area of film activity.

How are you going to achieve this.
Adi: The beginning has already been made.Like i will give you an example. Do you know Salam-E-Ishq, Shakalaka Boom Boom, TaRa Rum Pum, Jhoom Barabar Jhoom all have YRF’s hand of God.

This really stumps me. TaRa Rum Pum and Jhoom Barabar Jhoom are understandable. They are from YRF stables..But
Adi: I object to YRF being compared to a stable. The Factory would have been appropriate but we can’t use it, otherwise we will be accused of plagiarism by master of the art of selling illusions as reality- the one and only-RGV. Anyway i don’t want to digress.

So what would you like your operations to be called.
Adi:Kitchen is ok though its Cheeni Kum.

Okay, how Shakalaka Boom Boom and Salam-E-Ishq have come out of YRF’s kitchens.
Adi:That’s what i am harping on-that our reach is far and wide even though invisible. And this gives us that sense of invincible power that our competitors and wannabe production houses can just wish for.Salam-E-Ishq has been misdirected by Nikhil Advani,Right?

Right.
Adi:And Nikhil Advani assisted Karan Johar.Right?

Right.But..
Adi: Let me finish first.Whom Karan Johar assisted?

You.
Adi: Exactly.

But what Shakalaka Boom Boom had to do with you?
Adi: I am coming to that..First tell me what Jhoom Barabar Jhoom and Shakalaka Boom Boom have in common?

Um..umm..I can’t figure out any link except both have no potential of creating any dhoom.
Adi:That’s besides the point. The link is Bobby Deol..See anything, anywhere happening has to be ultimately tied up with YRF. That’s my megalomaniac ambition. To be number one. To be everywhere by hook or by crook.And you know something? For the first time Bobby Deol has worked with YRF.

Yes, indeed. You are right-First time after YRF gave Sunny Deol a raw deal.
Adi: Ha, ha, ha..that was also the first of its kind.

Is this going to be your strategy for growth?
Adi: It’s said my dear ‘Alongwith the sunshine there’s got to be a little rain sometimes.’

That’s Lynn Anderson’s song.Right?
Adi:For a change you are also right.

One last question. When are you going to grow up?
Adi: I beg your pardon!

I mean it is said ‘even if you grow up it does not mean you are grown up’.So what’s in store for gullible,naive,innocent,eager audiences by way of your growth strategy.
Adi:Tell them,’I never promised you a rose garden..’

With song on his lips and strut in his steps Adi got up and went deep inside in one of YRF’s hidden chambers sporting his trademark enigmatic smile..

And I was left to myself to ponder whether to send this fictitious interview as real like JBJ, to my passionate friends or not..And then i decided. What the heck..If Shaad Ali with patronage from YR camp can do it with such brazenness, why can’t i send a simple post..And that too a post that is more of an expression in art of nonsense..Afterall it is just a post..No Big deal or Bobby Deol…So here it is straight from the kitchen-fresh and frothy.

Posted on June 18, 2007 | Filed Under News & Gossip, Opinion, Bollywood, Movies, Thoughts